‘See that there? That’s one of those great sentences that would have meant absolutely nothing ten years ago. Imagine H.G. Wells appearing in my room after defeating the Ewoks from the future (come on - you know what I mean!) and me saying that sentence to him – how confused and insecure-in-himself would he then almost immediately become?
So – tagged for a meme, eh?
Allrightythen, I have to list seven useful things about myself. ‘Bit tough that. I generally have myself down as being about as useful as a chocolate teapot, or as useful as t**s on a b**l (sorry, that last word was ‘Bull’ – I went a bit asterisk-crazy there for a sec.)
But I’ll give it a go:
- I can boil the perfect soft-boiled egg every time. I blogged on my infallible condensation method once. If you can’t see why this is useful then you’re a fool, man, do you hear me? A damned fool.
- I can crack my knuckles twenty times in one knuckle-cracking-session. Invaluable when the person in the seat in front of you is talking too much during the movie.
- I can remember lots and lots of song lyrics. I can’t sing but I can hide behind the maroon curtain and prompt you with the words as and when you need them.
- I can play any tune on my face – either my tapping my cheek/teeth/head or, more effectively, by putting a ruler in front of my mouth and tapping that. ‘Popcorn’ by Hot Butter is my specialty.
- I wash up other peoples dishes wherever I go. This is undoubtedly my most useful trait.
- I can play the accordion. But I never-ever do.
- I can’t ride a bike. This is useful because you can hold yourself up in comparison to me and see what a great person you are and what an intolerable speck of humanity I am.
I’m not actually going to tag anyone. Sorry. If you like it and wanna do it, please be my guest.
Incidentally, just in case old HG does drop by in his DeLorean (eh??) How do you pronounce the word ‘Meme’? Is it ‘Mem’ derived from Memorandum or is it ‘Mee-mee’ as in ‘A memo about me’ (also derived from Memorandum)?
That would be… useful.