My Munificent Seven

Cellobella – she of that most-radiant of blogs ‘Redsultana.com’ – has tagged me for a meme.

‘See that there? That’s one of those great sentences that would have meant absolutely nothing ten years ago. Imagine H.G. Wells appearing in my room after defeating the Ewoks from the future (come on - you know what I mean!) and me saying that sentence to him – how confused and insecure-in-himself would he then almost immediately become?


So – tagged for a meme, eh?

Allrightythen, I have to list seven useful things about myself. ‘Bit tough that. I generally have myself down as being about as useful as a chocolate teapot, or as useful as t**s on a b**l (sorry, that last word was ‘Bull’ – I went a bit asterisk-crazy there for a sec.)

But I’ll give it a go:

1. I can boil the perfect soft-boiled egg every time. I blogged on my infallible condensation method once. If you can’t see why this is useful then you’re a fool, man, do you hear me? A damned fool.
2. I can crack my knuckles twenty times in one knuckle-cracking-session. Invaluable when the person in the seat in front of you is talking too much during the movie.
3. I can remember lots and lots of song lyrics. I can’t sing but I can hide behind the maroon curtain and prompt you with the words as and when you need them.
4. I can play any tune on my face – either my tapping my cheek/teeth/head or, more effectively, by putting a ruler in front of my mouth and tapping that. ‘Popcorn’ by Hot Butter is my specialty.
5. I wash up other peoples dishes wherever I go. This is undoubtedly my most useful trait.
6. I can play the accordion. But I never-ever do.
7. I can’t ride a bike. This is useful because you can hold yourself up in comparison to me and see what a great person you are and what an intolerable speck of humanity I am.

I’m not actually going to tag anyone. Sorry. If you like it and wanna do it, please be my guest.

Incidentally, just in case old HG does drop by in his DeLorean (eh??) How do you pronounce the word ‘Meme’? Is it ‘Mem’ derived from Memorandum or is it ‘Mee-mee’ as in ‘A memo about me’ (also derived from Memorandum)?

Perhaps someone could let me know.

That would be… useful.

Seven Weird Bits of Stuff About Me

I am not quite ready to tell you about how I became a published playwright this weekend (I’ll do that next time).

So it’s really very handy that Fragileheart has tagged me with one of those Meme things where you have to reel seven things off about yourself.

She strongly feels I should tell you seven weird facts about myself, or else she’s going to end up calling me 'Pupple Knickers' for the rest of my life.

Seems fair…

As I type now, very tired after a long drive, I have no idea even what 'number' one 'weird-thing' is going to be about but let’s just see what emerges.

Incidentally, this is all a bit similar to another one of these memes I did some time ago - My Munificent Seven – I think I may have used up all my weirdness on that one.

Anyway, let's get to it:

1) hmmm… one is really hard. Let’s start with two. (Handy writer’s block tip there…)

2) I am going grey remarkably slowly. I thought I’d be white-haired by now but I’m not. Strange but true...

3) When I type – hunt and peck – I never have to think about where a key is but if someone asks me to tell them where a key is, I have no idea – except for QWERTY.

4) I can remember an awful lot of detail about pretty much every visit to the cinema I’ve ever made – what I saw, who I was with, where I saw it? It’s a bit spooky.

5) I only ever own one pair of shoes – you can read a little more about that particular foible here.

6) Dogs do what I tell them to do. I think they smell their own fear.

7) If I’m ever walking along by myself and I have a particularly entertaining thought, that thought will often stop me in my tracks while I think it out. I’ll only actually realise I have stopped walking after the thought has been adequately dealt with. This can look extremely strange to a passer-by, I think... … (sorry, where was I?)

8) Which is really (1): I don’t think of myself as wearing glasses but I’ve been doing it fairly regularly for over ten years now.

Okay, so I’ve left out all the stuff about the 'levitation' and the 'serial killing' – I’ve got to hold something back for future posts, you know.

I’m choosing not to tag anybody else for this fun game. Do please take it and play with it if you fancy it and please let me know if you do.

I’d like to see what weird things you come up with.

Alternatively, perhaps leave me one weird thing in the comments section, or else fifteen if you’re Matt Urdan.

Joking… I’m joking.

An Excuse to Chat about Movies – How Can I Possibly Resist?

You’d think I’d run a country mile from memes and such after my recent public tantrum but Matt has just posted a series of movie questions to answer.

It looks like such fun I think I’ll just drop my planned post, reel something off about this off the top of my head, and just play…

You can play too, if you like.

1) List one movie that made you laugh:

I don’t really laugh quite as much as some might think. I tend to appreciate/enjoy the funny bits quietly.

I have to say ‘Jackass The Movie’ made me laugh out loud. When the guy used the toilet in the toilet-shop, that was funny, man!

2) List one movie that made you cry:

‘Philadelphia’. The weirdest thing, this – I really didn’t enjoy the movie. I watched it on video at home. I thought Tom Hank’s was okay but I though he had one deplorable scene with some classical music (which so many people seem to like, what’s that all about??).

Anyway, I got to the final scene with a big ‘Meh’ attitude and that last scene just destroyed me.

Really.

I think it was the footage of the central character as a young boy (the same age as my own lad). He was just playing, completely unknowing of the pain and suffering which lay ahead in his adult life.

That ,coupled with Neil Young’s heart-tugging theme song... it made me cry.

Never happened before or since.

3) Name one movie you loved when you were a child:

The Jungle Book.

Need I say more?

4) List one movie you've seen more than once:

Seen tons of movies more than once. I’ve probably seen ‘Body Heat’ more than any other.

Whenever it comes on I cannot not watch.

5) One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it:

I loved ‘South Pacific’.

I didn’t tell my friends.

Oops, just did.

6) One movie you hated:

I hate loads of movies but I prefer to try to find a movie that I hated which lots of other people seemed to rate very highly.

One such clear offender was ‘Chariots of Fire’.

Slow-motion running and Vangelis soundtrack – what’s not to hate?

7) List one movie that scared you:

I don’t really scare too easily either – not at movies anyway.

I never even jumped at ‘Jaws’ while the entire rest of my home town were three foot up in the air.

For this category, I will say ‘Audition’, I was disturbed and surprised but not really scared.

Oh, Oh! Wait. I remember now!

I did jump once at a movie. Would you believe it was ‘A View to a Kill’ – Roger Moore’s Bond swan song (which was quite dreadful).

There was this one point where he was exploring a deserted house and a gratuitous cat jumped out 'MWROWWWR!!'

'Hit the roof, me...

8) List one movie that bored you:

Reds. Wasn’t it just boring though?

9) List one movie that made you happy:

‘Pulp Fiction’ really made me very happy.

I saw it Day One (as I often used to do, back then). The visceral vision and superb quality of the dialogue made me feel genuinely happy inside.

10) List one movie that made you miserable:

‘Jumpers’ just last Friday night.

I watched the credits at the end and gloomily thought ‘how can so many people conspire to make such total crap?’

11) List one movie you thought would be great, but it wasn’t:

The Great Gatsby… wasn’t.

Should’ve been called… ‘Gatsby’.

12) List one movie you weren't brave enough to see:

‘Sex and the City’ just… couldn’t… do it.

13) List one movie character you've fallen in love with:

Rhynn in ‘The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane’.

Well, it was probably really Jodie Foster that I had fallen for. We were the same age, we both had a chipped tooth, she took off her clothes… I thought it could work.

I really really did…

Ken Pulls a ‘Marlon Brando’ regarding Blog Award and Meme…

In the last few days I’ve been given an award and tagged for a meme. More on both of these good things below.

These two events, and my funny old reaction to them, got me thinking about myself, (what again?) which was useful. I’ll tell you about the ‘thinking’ bit at the end. First the good news.

I am very complimented that Matt Urdan at ‘Meltwater. Torrents. Meanderings. Delta.’ has selected my little blog for an award. There are obviously millions of blogs out there for him to choose from, so knowing that one of the five he actually chose was mine gives me a nice warm feeling inside, it really does.


It’s called the “Arte y Pico" Award and apparently it was created as part of a tag initiative from the “Arte y Pico" Blog, where you pass along a compliment to other bloggers.


This compliment is made all the better because Matt is a blogger who I particularly admire. I think you can learn as much from a blogger’s comments on other people’s posting as you can from the person’s blog itself.


So let it be with Master Urdan. I have seen Matt, through his comments, here and elsewhere, strongly reflect both his kindness and his enthusiasm. Also (only quite recently) I have witnessed his bravery in unflinchingly saying what he strongly felt in a situation where it would have been infinitely easier to say nothing at all. He also likes ABBA, which is largely forgivable.

Respect to Matt and many thanks.

* * * *

Then Wonderful Kathleen at Poetikat tagged me to list Seven Songs which I am currently into. That’s a bit of good fun so here goes:

Today’s Songs

‘Louisiana 1927’ by Randy Newman (Can’t get this out of my head at the moment)

‘The Look of Love’ sung by Dusty Springfield (I love the songs of Bacharach and David)

‘Lie to Me’ by Tom Waits

‘I saw Her Standing There’ by The Beatles (one… two… three…FOUR!)

‘True Faith’ by New Order

‘Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots by The Flaming Lips

and

Alexandra Leaving by Leonard Cohen

(This all may change tomorrow)


* * * *

Now here’s the thinking part…

When I got the award and the meme, I was dead pleased, really I was.

But… I did not want to pass them on, uh uh, no way.

So I asked myself why? And, frankly, I bullshitted myself for a few hours. I told myself I did not want to just pick five of the many Bloggers I admire. I told myself it was a deep-seated aversion to anything to do with a ‘chain’, however well-intentioned and harmless it might be. I told myself I was bloody lazy.

There is an element of truth to all these points, a little… not too much.

When I was honest with myself, it was actually quite revealing.

This is what I found to be the truth of the matter. *I hate asking people to do things for me.* I really do. That’s why you may never see a guest blog on this page.

To take it a step further – I also feel a strong moral obligation do try my best to do whatever anyone ever asks me to do. I think these two attributes are related but I haven’t quite figured out how yet. I’ll continue to chew on it for awhile.

So thanks guys, for awards and memes, for friendship and for compliments and, most of all, for empowering me to cast a cold eye on myself.

By the way, I won’t be passing on the award and the meme as the rules demand…

Go figure!

:)