The Green and Red


(Photo by John Mee)

About three weeks ago, I was sitting right here where I am now, at my desk, in my room, on my PC, when I started to become aware of a strange faint noise. It was a fluttering of sorts, soft but insistent. At first, I thought a bird had got itself trapped in the attic or in the eaves. It was than kind of noise. I went outside to investigate.

It was bunting. Red and green triangular bunting. My next-door neighbour had hung it out quietly, along with flags and, as I saw when it got towards dusk, lights that flashed in those same home colours.

It was that time again. Mayo had won the All-Ireland Semi Final and were on their way to meet God Knows Who in the final in two weeks’ time. The ‘God-Knows Who’ turned out to be Kerry. A highly formidable adversary, a practically unstoppable force.

Mayo’s excellent manager, Andy Moran, set the tone for the encounter in a candid press conference.

"Does anyone here think we're going to win the All-Ireland final?” he asks, “No. Thank you.”

The question he had been asked concerned the Mayo fans and whether they would now get caught up in the hype. Andy was unequivocal.

"Our county has been starved the last four or five years. If they go a bit nuts, let them.”

And it started there. With two weeks to go until the final.

But here’s the thing, or my view of the thing at least: Mayo fans are exceptional. They don’t ‘go nuts’. They never ‘go nuts’. What they do is they support their team. Through up and down, thick and thin, they support the team.

And that’s what happened.

Mayo, where I have been pleased to live for the last 29 years, went into full-on support mode. Nobody went nuts. The task ahead was undeniably difficult, a positive outcome unlikely. But the good people of Mayo got behind the mule. And they pushed.

Two feelings existed simultaneously. Firstly, there was a sense of realism. This excellent young team had already exceeded expectations in this formative year. To reach the final was a colossal achievement in itself. Maybe there wouldn’t necessarily be more this time but it would still be a great year.

That was the first thing. The second thing… well, that was hope. But also something more than just hope, something intangible: a feeling, a sense that maybe, just maybe, this team, these men, could actually pull it off.

Nobody went nuts. But the town of Castlebar along with, I’m sure, the rest of Mayo moved into a fifth gear of support mode. Every discussion had was peppered with amateur analysis and prediction and good sense and, yes, hope. Every conversation ended, like an amen at the end of a prayer, with the exact same sentiment; “Have you any tickets?”

I put out my own flags. Two red and green fabrics looking a little apologetic next to my neighbour’s bonanza. I have never been talented with flags. I think they are a little like dogs; they sense when you are uncertain about them. While other flags on the street waved proudly, ours hung limply and projected only a sort of mild dejection.

The day arrived...

You may be reading this in another part of the world. That happens sometimes, I know. You may not be aware of how it all played out last Sunday, on the day of the All-Ireland Football final, but if you’re in this hemisphere, you probably know.

We won.

Mayo won.

Context is everything. Mayo had not won for a very, very long time. This is not so terrible for some counties, like my own, where the expectation of a win is hardly ever realistically there. But it’s different here in Mayo. Here, the team have been contenders to once again win the Sam Maguire Cup for the longest time. And many times they have come tantalisingly close. Within an inch. But always, in the living memory of most people alive today, the coming close has ended the same way; in heartbreak.

But not this year. After Seventy-five long years of Championship drought, the bright young team of Mayo stalwarts brought it home.

Mayo won.

So now, in the week that just was, so many Mayo people have had something that they never had before in most of their memories. At least outside of marriages, children being born, and lottery wins. They have had a taste of unbridled joy. Nobody knew what would happen if and when Mayo finally won again and what happened did not disappoint. Tens of thousands of people took to the streets, the bars, and the public places and their faces all beamed with delight. Horns were blared and car roofs were ridden upon by ecstatic youths waving huge flags. Old men, stuffed into their team jerseys, were linked through the crowds by over stimulated granddaughters, telling anyone who would listen, in quavering voices, that they had been there the last time, only they had been very small back then.

These young victors stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before, some of whom earned well-deserved medals from the sideline, some of whom commentated on the match, some of whom watched infirm from their rooms, some of whom who are now gone. The ones who went before showed that the power and the skill and the talent were all there, it only required one final unbridled effort to make the impossible real again.

It’s been quite the week here in Mayo. To tell the truth, I’ve been a tiny bit divorced from it myself. As a 29-year resident of Mayo, but originally from up the road, I feel a little bit of an outsider in the midst of all the melee. But then, wherever I’ve been in my life, including home, I have always felt the same. But enough of that. I burst with pride and joy for the team, and I celebrate with my friends in the town. Anything else is just down to me.

As I look out of my window now, trying to think of my next sentence, a stray breeze catches my own meagre flags out in the front garden. Like one more small miracle, the red and green material raises itself off the grass and billows confidently out in the bright air.

Bravo, Mayo.

Bravo indeed!

IMAX Upselling (Telemachusing)?

I think I could possibly take a bit of flak for this one, if anyone actually ever read this stuff. Maybe that’s one of the advantages of not being widely read. I can have my little say and largely get away with it. Wouldn’t the occasional small furore be kind of nice though? No, it wouldn’t, Ken, you’d hate it and you know it.

So, jog on.

Anyway, I went to see The Odyssey yesterday in my local cinema. Not to sound too namby-pamby about it but this is a sort of an experiment in regeneration for me. As I young person, I really enjoyed going to the movies by myself. From about fourteen to twenty-three I did it quite a lot and it was one of my things. Then I went away from it all. First from solitary cinema-going and then from cinema-going altogether. For the first part I had Dear Patricia to accompany me and for the second part I got tired of mobile phones and popcorn rustles and belligerent kids and, mostly, my own lack of patience.

But since I was laid up for a while, I’ve started to acknowledge that I deserve a little something for myself now and again, and one of those somethings is the occasional revisit to the local film house when there’s something on I’d really like to see on the big screen. (‘Big screen’… hold that thought). I sound like I’ve been doing this all the time but, in actuality, I did it yesterday for the first time. Perhaps that means this is more a statement of intent. One that nobody will read (leave that now, Ken, there’s a good lad).

But let’s get on to the point of this post.. but wait, what? You want an Odyssey review? A non-spoiler one? Can you actually spoil The Odyssey at this juncture? (Be quiet, Ken, you’re sounding like a prat.) All right, not a review per-se (per-se is one of my very few readers) but a little of what I thought of it. Okay?

The Odyssey: I really enjoyed it. I was thoroughly entertained throughout. I found it oddly ‘old-fashioned’ in places. That may sound strange for such an ancient story, but Nolan tends to bring modernity to whatever subject he tackles. Parts of the film seemed to deliberately hark back to the Ray Harryhausen days – men on super-real white beaches about to encounter some outlandish beastie. I liked that. Samantha Morton puts in a great shift, and Robert Pattinson is a fine panto villain. Matt Damon delivers his role, possibly in the knowledge that the driven hero is rarely the most interesting character. The people who suffer the consequences of his passions make for a much more interesting story. Finally, the climax delivers a Gladiator-like payoff that is highly satisfying.

So, yes, I really enjoyed this one. I would recommend it.

Now, let’s get to that gripe.

Sitting in my local cinema, with its nice sound system, solid digital projection and sizeable screen, I was aware that I was a second-class citizen when it came to seeing this movie. That mine was a third-rate experience that could not compare to what others were simultaneously experiencing elsewhere.

In my head, I’m calling this The Great IMAX Upsell or, as I’m trying to be smart, Telemachusing.

If you’ve seen hype about the movie, you’ve also seen hype around the format. ‘The first film ever shot entirely in IMAX’, ‘must be seen in an IMAX cinema to be even partially appreciated and, ideally, in an IMAX 70mm projected format.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s great. Even the buzz of going in to see it like that, after all that hype, would be great. But, at the end of the day, it’s still pretty basic upselling, isn’t it? And why not? The film is a product, and a damned expensive one at that. If it doesn’t recoup, wash its face, and then go on to make a substantial profit then what can the future hold for grand cinema events. So, go IMAX, go 70mm, back the creation and love it and tell me how much more inferior my own meagre experience was. But don’t lose sight of the fact that you were upsold.

A few weeks back I wrote about the ‘would you like a drink with that’ routine in fast food places. This is the same. Would you like an extra few feet at the top and bottom of your screen? It will turbo-charge your experience. It will change your life.

Except it won’t. Will it?

It’s good. It’s great. But it’s not that good. It’s not that great.

So, yes, by all means, have the drink with the burger. It will wash things down nicely. Just don’t buy into how it might change your life. That’s all.

My viewing of The Odyssey was perfectly satisfactory for my needs. And rest assured that I am one of the biggest aspect-ratio nerds you may ever meet. I detest cropped prints. The VHS rental days drove me mad with their awful 4:3 ratios, hacked to fit our then-boxy TVs. The advent of widescreen TVs and then DVDs with correct widescreen letterboxed ratios delighted me.

So, wait. Maybe I need to accept something here. Maybe I’m just being churlish. Maybe, deep down, I would love to see the film in the ratio that Chris Nolan intended me to see it in.

But I can’t, I just can’t.

And maybe there’s something just a little sad about going all the way to your local dream factory and being told that it’s a second-rate, knock down, dream that you’re about to have.

Ball Person

Wimbledon fortnight ends this afternoon and this year, as ever, it’s been a sizeable feature in our little household. Patricia plays tennis and is very good at it, so she knows a lot about the intricacies of the game. Her couch comments frequently prompt the on-screen commentators in what they are about to say. It’s very entertaining.

So, yes, I’ve watched quite a bit of Wimbledon, just as I’ve watched quite a bit of Roland Garros and the Australian and US Opens too.

And I’ve marvelled - yes marvelled is the word – marvelled at the outlandish skill and power of the participants. The dogged determination that is often required to get over the finish line as number one.

But there is one peculiar little aspect of the game that engages me even more than the on-court battle itself: that is the way the players receive the balls from the ball kids, just before serving, and the manner in which they select which of the balls to use.

I mean, is there a better visual representation anywhere in the world of the 'Ten Thousand Hours’ that is oft cited as being required to get really good at something? These players have spent so much time with tennis balls. Catching them, tossing them, stowing them away for a possible second serve. They have become blindingly adept at working with them.

I find it endlessly fascinating. The call for so many more balls that is needed. The visual inspection of the proffered balls and the offhand rejection, straight to the ball person, of the candidate perceived to be the weakest. The sleight-of-hand disappearance of the second serve ball. Even the bounce. Watch Djokovic: his bounce defies gravity, never heading directly for the earth but rather projecting at some diverse and forceful angle of the player’s own careful devising.

I watch these ball manipulations and I wish I could write like that. I aspire to that. I think I have my ten thousand hours well and truly clocked in at this point. But, still, I fumble with my themes and stall before my pitch.

I wish I could have three fuzzy yellow ideas tossed at me. I wish I could momentarily juggle all three in one hand before sending the weakest one rolling away. I wish I could tuck one spare in my pocket for later, though I reckon the first one will be so strong I won’t need it until much, much later. I wish I could throw that idea up in the air and smash it into the sweetest zone on the far side of the net.

And, if and when it comes sailing back, I wish I could return it with interest.