But, when I
think back to my hospital and rehab stay, and when I think about writing about
the worst parts rather than the best parts, I always stop myself short. Nobody
needs to be hearing about all that, I reckon. Not in the level of grisly detail
I could write it in. But there’s still a part of me that feels it is only right
to cover it in some way. To not just leave a written record for myself that seems
unremittingly positive and ‘almost-fun.’ There were definitely times when it
wasn’t ‘almost-fun.’ Not even close. But, like I said, the telling of that end
of things is just too sinewy and gristly to be getting too deep into.
But this
week, I got to thinking that the sides of the bed might serve as a manageable
metaphor for all that other unmentionable stuff. It’s a true part, it’s fairly
sterile in the telling, and ultimately it seems like it started me on a path
towards a ‘narrative-for-life-as-it-currently stands’ which is both positive
and good.
So, let’s
try that, shall we?
On my first
night in the hospital, the attendant staff put up the guarding rails on both
sides of my bed. This was apparently for my own safety, to stop me from falling
out. But I didn’t like it very much.
Not having
been in hospital for over 50 years meant there was a lot of things I didn’t
immediately like, but with most of them I tried very hard to suck it up and keep
going, as you have to really.
But the bed
rails were a bit more of a problem. It’s not a phobia, not even a ‘thing’ per
se, but I do have a mild dislike of being confined or pinned down. Tight,
tucked in, sheets in a hotel room, for instance, will do my head in and I’ll
have to go around the bed perimeter and pull them all out before I can get in. On
top of everything else, the raised guardings on both sides of the bed had some
air of finality about it that just didn’t work for me.
So, I
bargained. I promised I would strive very hard not to fall out of the bed, and
could they please consider leaving just one side of the bed open? They were
kind, they were considerate, they left one side down. The fact that I had
promised not to fall out might have helped but, in actuality, I was not able to
move myself very much at all so the falling out was really a pure
impossibility.
The bed
rails were thick moulded plastic affairs, not at all like the chromium plated
bars one might see in a Carry-On Doctor film. They were sleek and space-age and
clean and bright… but still they were there to hold you in, and, for the first
few days, I was glad to always have one of them down.
But by the
time I was transferred to the Rehab facility (on a stetcher, in an ambulance… another new
experience) a couple of weeks later, I had learned a lesson or two about
guardings and beds… and me. Answering a series of written questions upon
admittance, I was asked if I would like to have the bed guardings up or down at
night. I immediately answered that I would like both of them up please. This
was met with a little surprise. I was told that, at this point in my treatment,
the raised bed guardings were regarded as a form of restraint and I would have
to sign a release to allow the staff to do that for me. I took the pen and made
my incoherent scribble without hesitation.
What had
changed in me in those few weeks? Had I become beaten down by my time in the general
hospital? Had I given up all traces of independence? No. It was quite the
opposite. I had learned a trick or two and I had also become a little stronger.
The truth
was that although my legs still weren’t co-operating very well, I had very good
strength in my upper body. With the guard down in the night, even on one side,
I couldn’t manage to shift or turn in the bed. But with both guards up, I could
grab hard onto those moulded plaster handholds on both sides and drag myself
around into a more comfortable position. In the night, if I slipped too far
down the bed, I could haul myself back up to the top, inch by inch, in a mere
matter of a couple of grunting, sweating, minutes.
I had soon realised
that this confinement was to my advantage and the pleasure in being able to
move myself just a little bit outweighed the discomfort of being closed in.
This
situation didn’t last for long. The regaining of some command over my legs came
back much more quickly that anyone expected and, pretty soon, the bed guards
were not an issue anymore. In fact, they no longer existed in my world.
But now I
find they come back to me sometimes, in my head. Not as any fearful negative
thing but more as a lesson in resilience and resourcefulness. I see how scary
things can sometimes be lassoed and mounted and tamed to one’s own advantage.
And, on a somewhat wider perspective, I see how I sometimes get to choose my own
narrative, not just for the bed guardings but for this entire episode of my
life.
When it
comes to the telling of this story, I could have chosen the ‘pity me, I was
locked up in my bed and couldn’t move’ narrative but, instead I choose the, ‘I
turned a shitty thing into something good for me’ narrative.
On the
wider scale, when it comes to my overall illness, I could have chosen to tell
myself a story which goes something like, “I am damaged goods now. I have 24/7
nerve pain. I walk well but with care. My legs sometimes feel like they are
encased in lead. I get tired and distracted. I am not the man I was 4 months
and 1 week ago.”
To hell
with that. No. I choose another narrative.
I am doing
great. I can do everything I could do before. I have made a brilliant recovery,
and, over the coming months, I will only get better and better. And even if I never
get fully better, I will be able continue to live my wonderful life on my own
terms.
I am a
lucky, lucky guy and that’s the story I will continue to choose to tell myself.
Would you
like the guards up or down? Would you like your story served up or down? Different
questions, same answer.
Up, please.


