Here’s something that annoys and rattles me hugely but which I’m trying to be better about.
A little background.
Friday night is takeaway night in our little house-of-two. There are a few options
but one is more oft used than the others and I’ll be there twice a month at
least. They know me well there and so this thing doesn’t arise very often and, believe me
when I say, that’s a very good thing.
But when there’s someone
new behind the counter, at the till, and I step up to give in my carefully worked
out order, well, this will almost inevitably happen.
“Can I have an ‘x’ and
a small portion of ‘y’ and a…?”.
Sorry but I’m not comfortable
with giving you my actual order here. There are levels of personal exposure
than I am quite content with but telling you my order is several steps too far for my liking.
Swap in your own preferences, you’ll get the gist.
“… and a little
container of ‘z’?”
This is good. I’m half-way
through my order now and all is going swimmingly. But the person behind the
counter is new and doesn’t know me like the veterans do. Let’s assume she’s a
girl for ease of pronoun management. It usually is, so let’s hope that’s forgivable.
I continue.
“And then could I have -
“
But she has already weighed in,
interjected, just as I feared she would.
“Would you like a drink
with that?” she asks. Innocent, helpful, no doubt following the management
script.
And now I am completely flummoxed.
I cannot continue with my order. Not because I am a fool and can’t cope with
the simple enquiry. Well… maybe there’s a bit of that. But, mostly, it’s
something else.
“What is it Ken?” I can
almost hear you cry.
It’s an amalgam of two
different things.
The first is a small rage that billows immediately inside of me. My mind, my internal narrative, on one side of my mind, says something like this:
“No, I don’t
want a fucking drink. And let me give you a clue as to why you should
already have intuited that I don’t want a drink. BECAUSE I DIDN’T
FUCKING ASK FOR ONE! I have a mouth.
Look, here it is. Right here. I also have a brain. You can’t see it, but I
assure you it is in there somewhere and my communication with you should be
proof enough that it resides somewhere there in my skull. So, if, and/or when,
I want a drink you may rest assured I am well capable of alerting you to that
fact. But, no, wait, perhaps you would like to just start off and read the entire
menu out loud to me and I can try to emit some kind of a grunt whenever you get
to something I might like. HOW WOULD THAT BE FOR YOU?”
That’s one side of my
mind.
At the same time, the
other side of my mind is saying something like this:
“Calm down. The girl is
only asking if you want a drink. It’s not a hanging offence. There are three obvious
reasons why she is doing this. 1) She is trying to save me money. The addition
of a drink turns my order into a ‘meal’ and will work out cheaper than if I
order it separately. 2) She is following the instructions she received at her
training and 3) She is upselling a little bit, doing her part to keep the takeaway
in profit and open for business. There’s no need to be angry and don’t even
think about berating or even being mildly sarcastic with her. JUST GET OVER IT."
The effect of these two
alternate internal narratives playing out simultaneously has this interesting side effect
of rendering me completely speechless. The girl (as previously discussed, they could be any gender but, for the purposes of this story, they are a girl) asks her question and I stand
completely silent, mouth slightly agape, for three seconds going on three decades. Then the
conflicting reactions cancel each other out and I manage to pull out a response.
“No, thank you,” I say.
Then I smile, apologising
with my eyes for being an old, confused fool, and then I plough on with my order.
And that’s it. That’s all.
Except sometimes I do
actually want a drink with it.
But that’s a story for
another day.


