Now that is valuable, you must agree.
My favorite difference between the sexes was posited by 'my main man' James Thurber many tears ago (typo, what typo?). He suggested that the main difference between men and women was that men inspect their fingernails palms up with their fingers bent over while women do it palms down with their fingers outstretched.
Who can argue with him, eh? Who?
So now, today, I get my own theory and I’m not blowing my own trumpet when I suggest that it’s just a valid as James Thurber’s was all those tears ago (nope… ‘still don’t see any typos).
Here’s mine, after a tiny bit of background.
This morning, my lovely wife asked me to get some breadcrumbs in the supermarket. Doubtless these were for some new exotic culinary experiment. This was a new item on my list and I kind of hate that because I’ve got the shopping routine pretty much down pat (pat is an Irish guy) at this stage. I know what I need and I know where it can be found. Fine. But when something new comes on the list, I can lose time looking for it – I can lose a lot of time.
I lost lots of time today... looking for breadcrumbs.
I used all the limited logic at my disposal to find them too.
“Breadcrumbs,” I mused, silently because out-loud-musing can get you into all kinds of trouble in the supermarket, “breadcrumbs will be in the baking section. So confident was I of this that I went there and simply reached out to the shelf, fully expecting them to be at the end of my arm.
Next I figured they must be in the bread section – a moderate hike across the store. Nope, plenty of bread there, none of it in crumb form.
I tried lots of other places. I even tried asking an employee but he wasn’t conscious. Eventually I gave up and I phoned my wife.
She told me where the breadcrumbs were without a moment’s hesitation and she was dead right. I went there and there they were.
Now my firm belief is that any woman reading this will just say “Big deal, we all know where the breadcrumbs are.” While all the men will say, “He’s right, I haven’t a clue where the breadcrumbs are either.”
“Quod erat demonstrandum.” A new rule for the sexes is born! And here it is:
"Women know where the breadcrumbs are, men don't."
That's it, my Eureka moment for today. Had there been a bath available, I would have certainly jumped out of it.
You guys want to know where the breadcrumbs are? Yes but if I tell you that, then the rule won’t work anymore, will it?
Oh, very well then…
The breadcrumbs are next to the chickens.
I know, I can’t bloody figure it either!