Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Naked Ladies of my Youth

It is fair to say that I started going to see grown-up movies far too soon for my own good.  It is also true that these movies sometimes contained a fair measure of ladies without any clothes on.

But that was not the point.  That was never the point.

The point was Bruce Lee.

‘Fist of Fury’ came to the Gaiety Cinema in Sligo and it simply had to be seen.  All of us eleven and twelve year olds simply idolised Bruce Lee.  We spent all of our time clucking like angry hens and aiming flying-sidekicks at each other’s heads.  We were obsessed.  And the oddest thing of all was that it was an entirely second-hand obsession.  None of us had ever seen any moving footage of Bruce Lee.  All we had were the posters, the rumours, and the visions of our older brothers (who had actually seen the movies) maniacally kicking the shit out of each other.


(Bruce Lee by Tony Lewis)

‘Fist of Fury’ was released in 1972 with an X (18) certificate.  I can’t have seen it then, I was nine, for Christ’s sake.  That would have been just silly.  No, I must have seen it the second or third time around.  I would have been at least eleven.  Yes, I must have been eleven when I asked my Mum if I could go with the older boys to see Bruce Lee.  Mum would have known, in a passing way, that this was some movie guy we liked a lot so she said yes.

The mechanics of getting into the over 18’s movies when you were eleven were interesting, nerve-wracking, and they worked for us on many happy occasions.  If you turned up at the ticket-window, barely able to reach up to the counter, you would be unceremoniously 'ran' so a more subtle approach was required.  It was simple, really.  You needed an older boy who would buy your ticket for you.  He wasn’t 18 either but he was old enough that people didn’t care.  While he was doing that, you, the 11 year old, would duck up the stairs to the balcony and hide in the disused cloakroom up there.  The tickets for the balcony were never checked until you entered the auditorium so you waited in the cloak room until the lights had gone down and then you went in.  The older boy presented the tickets and you slipped past.  It certainly added to the ‘frisson’ of movie-going to know that, at any given moment, you might be grabbed and chucked out.

So, in this manner, in late 1973, I got in to see Bruce Lee in Fist of Fury at the ripe old age of eleven. 

I dislike the film now.  Apart from the fight scenes it’s a bit boring and repetitive.  But those fight scenes, then… man, they were just Poetry.  An icon, previously only known via images and rumour, literally came alive on the big screen in front of me and I was instantly and irrevocably sold on the magic and thrill of Cinema for ever more.

But there was an unfortunate price to pay.

There was Nudity.

For an eleven year old trying to get in to see his hero, nudity was not a fun or a titillating thing.  It was a Problem.  As far as we were concerned, Nudity was the only reason that Bruce Lee movies were not open for all kids to enjoy.  If we had our way, all the nudey-bits would have been cut out.  They were the moments when the usher might snap awake and see that there are diddies on the screen and young boys in the auditorium, munching Milky Moos.  They were the moments you could get yourself chucked out.

So, yes, nudity at eleven, as I now recall it, was a thing to be annoyed-about and cursed.  It was the barrier between you and your heroes.  It was odd, wasn’t it?

The Bruce Lee nudity was restrained enough – a glance of a bare breast or buttock, perhaps, and then on with the Nunchucks.  The step upwards was with a well-known cult film from 1975 called ‘Death Race 2000’.  I was twelve on the night that Over 18’s puppy arrived in Sligo and I simply had to get in.  I simply had to.

This film had everything.  A super-car race to the death, a hero called ‘Frankenstein’, points gained for killing people… it was, for me, by the sound of it, the absolute perfect kid’s movie and, as I said, it had everything.

Unfortunately, it really did… have ‘everything’… if you know what I mean.

We got in.  No problem.  We didn’t even have to use the cloak room technique.  The new ticket-tearer guy was a distant cousin so, once the ticket was bought by an older kid, I had no worries for the rest of the evening.

What a great movie.  I couldn’t believe it.  (See it now and it’s a bit shitty but, come on, I was Twelve).  Mayhem, cars, heroes, villains.  Then, at a moment of peak happiness, there occurred a scene in a massage room where everyone was laid down on benches, getting massaged… and then they all got up… and here was something new to me… here was Full Frontal Nudity in all its glory.

How did I react?  Was my youthful libido released and did I then venture outward into a world of physical love and adult relationships?

Did I hell!

I had only one thought in my head.  “If Mum or Dad catches me in here, I am Feckin’ Dead.”

It spoiled the movie for me.  Nudity was yet again the problem and not any kind of solution… and if there is a pun there then, yes, it was intended.

I didn’t get caught for ‘Death Race 2000’ but we were certainly living dangerously with our Over 18’s Movie Activities and at some point there had to be Retribution.

It came in 1976 (I was now Thirteen and a Veteran of all kinds of unsuitable flicks) with a film called ‘Death Weekend’ (Alternative Title, ‘The House by the Lake’.).  We went to see it.  It was a violent film and is still, to this day, something of a benchmark in nastiness and exploitation.  When I got home, my parents were waiting for me. 

“What cinema were you at tonight?”

We had two in the town, the Savoy was showing ‘Lady and the Tramp’.  I had a moment where a lie might have let me go free but I’ve always been one for cutting my losses. 

“The Gaiety, I was at The Gaiety.”

Our mistake had been basic.  We had neglected to read the huge lettering above the cinema entrance promoting the film we had seen.  It boldly stated,  “They raped her one-by-one, she killed them one-by-one.”  An unusual evening-walk past the Cinema gates by my parents had done for me.

That curtailed my movie-going for a time but not really for too long.

By 1978, we were fifteen, and we could pretty much step up and buy tickets for anything we wanted so the ‘Cinema-Assault’ party was effectively over.  Then a film came out called ‘The Stud’ (yes, you remember
it ).  It arrived in Sligo blaring the fact that is was a ‘sexy-time show’ and that only over 18’s would be allowed in to see it.  Thus challenged, we went and we got in, no bother.  Interestingly though (and this is true) while sitting in my seat, along with my pals, waiting for the curtains to open, I decided I didn’t really want to see a crap ‘sexy-time show’ so I got up and went home.

Go figure that one.

Perhaps our movie-going sounds awful now but it wasn’t such a bad thing.  As young teens, we never wanted to sneak into films which were ‘Adult’ first and foremost, we only craved the fighting, the monsters, the cars.  I don’t feel I was ever damaged by anything I saw on my teen excursions into grownup cinema, although I suppose it’s possible that more-impressionable kids might have been.  I certainly wouldn’t swap any of my experiences as I believe they coloured-in the love affair that I carry on with The Movies to this very day.

        *        *        *        *

Here’s a Couple of Footnotes:  There was only one film I failed to get into upon its release and that was ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’. For some reason that was heavily clamped down upon.  It is one of my favourite films.

I didn’t try to get into ‘The Exorcist’ upon its release and I am pretty sure I would not have been allowed in. 

And, finally, in 1975, I was challenged when buying a ticket to a film called ‘Hennessy’.  It carried an over 12’s certificate and, ironically-enough, I was 12 at the time.

They eventually let me in.



Liked This, Liked That…

This week, I’m simply imagining that I am sitting in the pub with someone, just  nattering about stuff  -movies, books, telly programmes - that I’ve enjoyed over the last little while.  

It’s not something I do much anymore but it’s always nice, isn’t it?  To try to instill your enthusiasm for something you like into somebody else, particularly if they’re completely trashed.

So pull up a stool, what are you having?

 
For a long time now, I’d been longing for a TV programme to hook me in.  Since Sopranos, West Wing, etc passed on, I’ve been a bit adrift, searching for something that I would enjoy coming back to every week.

Downton Abbey’ surprised me by doing just that.  I never thought it would be my kind of thing but, every week, I was back, settled on the couch, waiting eagerly for it to start.  It was lovely to look at and (although I know nothing about it) it seemed well-informed on its subject matter.  Plus it did something unexpected - which is always a good thing – it portrayed the relationships between the upstairs folk and the downstairs folk as being so much more personable and human that I would ever have imagined.  I was sad when it ended, I look forward to more of it next year.

After it ended, I even mourned its passing with a wee ditty, you’ll guess the tune.

Downton, where all the lights are bright
Downton, where all the servants fight
Downton, we’ll be here waiting for you…


Um…

On the polar opposite, I also got myself into ‘The Walking Dead’ on FX on the back of some positive advance word from Stateside.  It’s comic book Zombies stuff and I’m sticking with that too.  The acting is sometimes a wee bit wooden (and I don’t just mean the zombies) but the production looks great and the gore and mayhem are done in a rather no-holds-barred way which I really like.  The ‘Downton Abbey’ following may not all find a totally comfortable home here.

Movies?  Just last night, I watched a little movie called ‘Frozen’ which I really liked.  Thanks to the wonderful Sarah Pinborough for mentioning it.  It’s a nervy American film about three young people who get stuck up a mountain in a chair lift.  My son and I found that it built to some fine tense moments and was an entertaining 88 minutes.  Perhaps not for the faint-hearted.

Reading wise, I spent quite a bit of time with  a novel called ‘The Passage’ by Justin Cronin.  This is a huge book, an end-of-the-world, vampire saga (yes I seem to be wrapped in horror related things at the moment).  I liked this a lot but with a couple of reservations.  I can’t give anything away but there is a plot point in the book which seriously disrupted my reading of it – having settled into the setting and pace of the book, the gears were crunched-down deliberately and hard and I, for one, found it unsettling.  The end, too, lost me a little bit but generally it was a big book which I rushed home to read and that’s a good thing.

I’ve been re-reading some original Sherlock Holmes too.  It’s ages since I have been near any – perhaps not since I was a teen.  They’re really great, very readable and involving.  Give ‘em a go.

I also read ‘Let The Right One In’.  Having fallen in love with the film (blogged about it here), listened to the soundtrack, got the tee-shirt (kidding) I thought I should read the book which started it all off.  It’s a good book but it’s also a prime example of a film improving on a book, in my opinion.  Now the American version is in cinemas… I hear good things about ‘Let Me In’, it’s got a good pedigree… but I think I’ll stick with the original for now.

How about you?  What are you enjoying this last month or so?
 
Oh, before you start... I believe it’s your round?

I Am Glad I Like What I Like

Yes, I am glad that I like what I like.

Lots of my Friends on social media are pleased-as-punch with their new purchase this weekend – The iPad.  Quite right too, it’s a neat looking and very desirable piece of kit.

It struck me that the availability of the iPad in Britain (and soon here in Ireland) will create envy with some people.  It’s a lovely device but it’s not the cheapest thing in the world. 

Few people are entirely escaping the grip of the economic difficulties our green little country is currently in the midst of.  Therefore many people will want one but will simply not be able to buy one.

That’s why I’m glad I like what I like – ‘cos I don’t really want one.



Before you run off, this is not a whinge-post along the lines of, ‘Why can’t I have one?’  I am (thankfully) in the happy position that I could go out and buy one any day I ever wanted to.  Times are not buoyant but there’s ‘enough-to-get-by-on-and-then-some’ and I know that’s not the case for everyone and my heart goes out to them, it really does.

All this post is really about is me celebrating that the things I really love and desire are cheap or free or very easily accessible…

… bloody hell, it’s starting to sound like a ‘family, friends, trees, air and sky’ post now - you must have all left.  All those 'tree and air' things are valuable and wonderful, of course, but they’re rather a given and, let’s face it, a bit of a bloody cliché too.  I’m talking about those more mundane things which we might want or aspire to...

Imagine if your great love was Travel.  Every year, you lived for your sojourn to some far-off place or your weekend away in some wonderful colourful capital city.  Then the current recession would probably mess you up, wouldn’t it?  Imagine if your ‘thing’ was ‘Haute Cuisine’ –  a fine meal in a fine restaurant now and again.  These cutbacks could really interfere with your delight.

But me, I’m lucky.  I like movies, I like books, I like music.  I’m lucky because I can access these things whether times are good or whether times are bad.

I am also lucky because these things are great social levellers.  Look at the very-well-off people in the world.  Let’s pick one… Donald Trump, okay?  Do you like good food?  Well Donald Trump is going to eat better than you.  ‘You like clothes?  Trump’s going to dress better than you.  ‘You like travel?  … you get the picture.

But me?  I can have everything that Trump can have.  He’s got nothing on little-old-me.  What movie can he see that I cannot see?  What book can he read?  What tune can he listen to that I cannot?  (Actually I think there is one Jan Michel Jarre album – ‘Music For Supermarkets’ – that only ever had one copy made of it.  So I can’t hear that - but I’m not that bothered really).

These things I like enable me to gain enjoyment at the same level as the richest man in the whole world.  I like the thought of that.

So when I express delight at your new iPad, it’s genuine.  You’re getting something you desire and you deserve it.  I’m really not envious at all. 

Me? I’ve got a movie to watch…

And that new book sounds really good. 

Doesn’t it Donald?

Eavesdropping on the Movies

























When I started off writing stuff for radio, I seemed to fall into the groove of it fairly easily. I think the reason for that is on account of the love I had for radio from a ridiculously early age.

The place where I lived, in north west Ireland, was well placed to pick up the BBC Radio stations and it was these that I listened to the most. Every week, in our house, we got the 'Radio Times' and the 'TV Times' and, while the rest of the family were thumbing to see what Ken Godwin was up to, I was sneaking off to the back pages of the Radio Times to read about what the coming week’s radio had to offer me.

Nobody else was interested in foreign BBC radio channels, the domestic services were all they needed so this remained all my territory, my secret place.

I listened on a cool transistor radio which had three bands, MW, LW and FM (VHF). It had an aerial which extended very long and this picked up those somewhat distant voices with impressive ease.

I used to listen to the dramas on Radio 4. One Sunday afternoon, as a child, I listened to the entire production of ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’ mostly because the wonderful lilustration in the Radio Times showed two old wolves dressed up in old people’s clothes. I expected the wolves to appear in the play somewhere and, although they never did, I was still very taken with what I heard.

It’s funny that I remember practically nothing about the most memorable play I heard. It was one Saturday night, underneath the bedclothes. It was set in Wales, I know that, and it was about two young boys – I think one was called Dai (I realise this is not a stretch) - but, critically, he died and his friends would go and visit him in the cemetery. The images all this evoked in my room were alive and tangible to me. Although I don’t remember the play very well, the effect it had will never ever leave. It was, and sorry for the cliché, the power of radio in action.

As I turned teen, I moved up the channel a bit to Radio Luxembourg and such. The music and the naughty condom ads were too much to resist. Then my usage tapered off, as other matters arose.

In early secondary school, all the peer pressure seemed to revolve around how much adult TV viewing you could get away with over your weekends. You earned your spurs in this regard by being able to speak knowledgeably about whatever film or series was on. If you had been allowed to see it, you were a winner. Needless to say, my thoughtful and kind parents were very careful about what I was allowed to watch so I fared very poorly in these televisual tests of manhood.

This all came to a head one Friday night when RTE Television was showing the TV premiere of ‘Coogan’s Bluff’ starring Clint Eastwood. Mark Askey, who got to see absolutely everything on telly, warned us that this was the true proof of a man – whether he could get to see ‘Coogan’s Bluff’ or not. I was surely lost… until I had the most wonderful idea.

On that radio I used to listen to so much, my domain had been largely the MW and LW bands but there was a wonderful idiosyncrasy about the FM/VHF band. Before Irish television caught up with the world and moved to UHF (ultra high frequency) it used to broadcast on VHF (very high frequency) and this was the very self-same VHF that was on my old radio.

In the simplest terms, I remembered that I could hear the TV on my radio.

I tried to stay up for Coogan’s Bluff. I made myself as small as possible in the corner and I uttered not a peep but the programme announcer alerted my parent to the sex and violence aspects of the feature and I was summarily dispatched.

I tuned the movie in as I climbed into bed, pulled up the blanket over my head, and listened to the whole thing. It was very entertaining and, on Monday morning, even Mark Askey was astonished that I could describe the film in such graphic detail. My standing went up, I moved slowly towards manhood within the group.

Thus began quite a long run of listening to unsuitable movies on the radio. The disembodied voice still holds a strong sway over my thoughts and deeds.

I feel a huge bond with radio. I only wish I could describe it to you better.



Movies Over and Over

I can't handle doing a top ten movies list.

There are way too many that are way too good.

However, there are a set of movies distinguished by the fact that, whenever I see them on TV and decide to watch for a minute or two, I cannot stop watching, regardless that I've seen them a hundred times before.

Here's a few of them, I'm not saying they're brilliant and I'm not saying they're the best... I'm just saying I can't stop watching them:


Body Heat
As Good as it Gets
It's a Wonderful Life
Finding Neverland
Goodfellas
Misery
Blade Runner
A Shot in the Dark
Dirty Harry
Fargo
Blood Simple
GlenGarry Glen Ross

There's loads, I'll add a few more...

Jean De Florette
The Magnificent Seven
Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Misery

Perhaps you might suggest a few of your own - I bet some of them get added to my list too.

God, I hope none of them are on today, I've got things to do.

Limerick Competition 2 – The Revenge

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the Internet...

You shouldn’t really be surprised.

The comments on the first Limerick Competition Post were such good fun that there simply had to be a sequel.

(Well, Cecilia told me there had to be.)


Of course this one may have more bangs and crashes but, ultimately, it just won’t be as good as the original.

But here goes anyway.

The most fun we have around here often has to do with things such as movies and… em… Limericks. So I thought why not throw the two in together? Why not write some Limericks about movies and ask the lovely visitors to write a Limerick about a movie too. More - I'll try not to name the movie in the Limerick, then fun could be had in trying to guess the movie. (All right - it was a slow night in Ideasville).

So I wrote a few and stuck them in below. The result is a bit like a series of Limerick Movie Riddles… very easy ones.

Will you do me an honour and write one of your own and put it in the comments thingie? I’d be eternally grateful, so I would.

As before, I’ll give 500 EC to the one I judge to be the winner plus a good link in the sidebar for a few months. (See Canucklehead over there? He won last time and it changed his life… he swears a lot more now). If you don’t use EC, you can have the link anyway and that amazing buzz that only comes from being the very best… that’s what I hear anyway.

For the first person that names the five movies I am Limericking about – all five, mind - I will try to write a copiously rude and disgusting Limerick about them as a special treat (can you wait?). Watch out for the fifth one, it’s a tiny bit tricksey - by which I mean it is not 'Gone With the Wind'. If you only get four, put them in anyway, you might win.

If you can also be first to explain why Bruce Willis warrants a mention in Limerick 3, or name three actors who are still surviving the movie in Limerick 4, I’ll also give you a wee few EC into the bargain.

It’s all in the name of fun. Roll up, roll up. Put your rhymin’ hat on.

1
The Natives don’t know what to do
The Beast has just munched one or two
Yes, the wall was secure
But they installed a big door
Large enough for the king to break through

2
When the heat wave got into my head
I went where that femme fatale led
And though Mattie may lie
Still one bad man will die
For no reason but we want him dead

3
The men of this town were not super
When there was trouble, they hid in the pooper
So it falls to one man
To do whatever he can
Not Bruce Willis, fool, Gary Cooper.

4
The fire was deadly… and high
And an A-List of stars had to die
Now the death toll’s grown steeper
For, in real life, the grim reaper
Took the survivors as well, by and by

5
Along came a new secret man
He was dangerous, quite violent, yet calm
But his girl Vesper Lynd
Thought it was ‘Gone with the Wind’
When he said, “Do I look like that I give a damn?”


There... surely you can do better?

If I’m lucky enough to get a few comments, I’ll hold them in moderation for one day so you can fool yourself into thinking you're first with the answers and get all excited.

Odds are, you will be.

Oh, by the way, any Limericks you may write in my comments section remain the property of the person who wrote them - always – just in case one of them lands a movie deal or something.


UPDATE: Let's clarify the prizes: 500 EC, kindly donated by Jena Isle for best limerick (plus a link here), 500 EC for all five answers (or closest) to the movie/limerick/riddles and 200 EC each for first correct answers to those little questions I posed.


Movies Over and Over


I can't handle doing a top ten movies list.


There are way too many that are way too good.


However, there are a set of movies distinguished by the fact that, whenever I see them on TV and decide to watch for a minute or two, I cannot then stop watching, regardless of whether I've seen them a hundred times before.


Here's a few of them, I'm not saying they're brilliant and I'm not saying they're the best... I'm just saying that, when they come on, I can't stop watching them:

Body Heat

As Good as it Gets

It's a wonderful life

Finding Neverland

Goodfellas

Misery

Blade Runner

A Shot in the Dark

Dirty Harry

Fargo

Blood Simple

GlenGarry Glen Ross


There's loads, I'll add a few more...

Jean De Florette

The Magnificent Seven

Treasure of the Sierra Madre


Do you have any movies that you will always stop to watch? I hope none of mine are on today.

I've got things to do.