Sign of Life

I can’t really put up the post I wrote for this week at the moment, the timing for it just doesn’t seem right.

So I got nothing in hand… nothing.

So here’s an off-the-cuff rant which does something I haven’t done before. Repeat myself. This post is in danger of practically duplicating an earlier post I did (in April of this year, in fact). And, wait, stop the presses. Just as I went looking for when I did that recent (probably identical) post, I find that I’ve written on this bugbear of mine three times before. Count them, three!

So what do it again, Ken? Why not leave it alone.

Three reasons, really.

Reason One is the main one, this shit is driving me crazy now.

Reason Two: It’s my blog, suck it up.

Reason Three: You don’t actually think anyone reads this stuff, do you?

So here it is.

Imagine you are driving at night and you are on that road that runs from Perth to Melbourne. In the middle of the Nullarbor plain. One of the great desert areas in the world, one of the great straight stretches of road. Imagine you have to turn right up a side road. (There’s nothing up the side roads, Ken, it’s a feckin’ desert). Just… imagine, okay? Your eccentric pal lives up there in a tent and you're going to visit him for his birthday. Okay? Imagine.

Here’s the thing. The road stretches for miles and miles straight in front of you and behind you too. There’s nobody in the world except for you and the road and the darkness. You are totally alone.

You come to the junction and you slow and you turn right. You are off to see your friend.

Off you go.


No. No. Bloody No.

You didn’t bloody put your bloody indicator on. You absolute twat.

But, but, but…

But nothing mate. Out there in the dark there was a gentle Aboriginal man, walking home along the side of the road. Your unexpected right turn nearly killed him, nearly wiped him off the planet. Because you didn’t know he was out there in the dark, without a reflective arm band on. But mostly, mostly, because you didn’t put your indicator on.

You were lazy.

You were distracted.

There was a good song on the radio.

You didn’t think there was any point in putting your indicator on.

The world of considerate driving has gone to hell in a hand basket. My rough estimate is that about 40% of drivers in my town and county no longer bother their holes to put their indicator on when they make a turn. Another 5% put the indicator on after they’ve gone around the corner, for fuck’s sake.



Always put your indicator on. No matter if you’re out on the Nullarbor with a care package for
your pal in the tent. No matter if you’re on some country lane. You never know who is looking to you for some clue as to which way you are intending to go. Your indicating that intention could save their life.

So, please, please, I’m begging you (you bastards) go back to using your indicators at all times. What are you doing not using them anyway? Are you trying to save on the little bulb or something?

We need a Road Safety Authority telly advert for this, to try to get us back to showing a little consideration out there on the roads.

Can I suggest a slogan or two? You can have them for free, if you like.

1)     Show a sign of life before you end up looking for a sign of life.


2)     Put your indicator on, you bastard.


Fles said...

Glad to know it's not just me who this bugs. I leave for work at 5:30 in the am and the number of cars who don't bother to indicate on the roundabouts because "There's no-one else on the road" - well, I'm fucking crossing, bellend, so I need to know where you're going. Indicating shouldn't even be something that people need to think about - it ought to be automatic and I don't understand why it isn't. Sub-rant over.

Claire Boyles said...

my vote goes to slogan 2) :)

Jim Murdoch said...

I’m no longer a driver but because I can drive I do kinda still think of myself as one although I really shouldn’t. It’s been about three years since I even sat in a car and a very nice car it was too as it happens not that that’s not important. So realistically when I do think about cars these days it’s not worrying about the price of petrol or wondering if I can get away with not changing the tyres for another month or trying to remember to change the oil or fill up the water-schooshy thing it’s this: Is that damn thing going to swerve and mow me down in broad daylight? If I’m at a junction and a car’s coming and not indicating I never step into the road until its intentions are clear, never. It’s not that you can’t trust people it’s simply that people are people and get distracted or forget and I have to take responsibility for my own actions. I know the Highway Code says we pedestrians have the right of way and all that crap but I don’t like pushing my luck and I really don’t need a big insurance pay-out right now.

Just a thought: There’s a lot of fuss at the moment about smart cars and TVs and doorbells and fricken cat collars so maybe someone’ll invent a smart indicator or would that be a bit pointless since it doesn’t look like we humans’ll be doing own own driving in a few years’ time. Then again we wouldn’t want any self-driving cars to mow down any poor defenceless robots on their way back from the corner shop.