Start Your Week with a Lim-er-eeek

I had planned to be posting something else today but the feedback to the last Limerick post was very cool so I thought I’d drag it out just a little bit more.

Some of my commenters were suggesting that I might post a regular Limerick feature. It’s a good idea – I’ll certainly think about it – but it’s probably not for me. I like to be a little ‘looser’ than that.

Give me land, lots of land and the starry skies above, don’t fence me in’ and all that kind of jazz.

But, seeing as how we had such ‘joy and fun’ last time and nobody apparently died, I thought I might suggest a small Limerick competition for you clever types who leave me comments.

In the last day or two, I’ve whipped up three Limericks about three of the very nicest people I chat to at such excellent forums as: ‘Top Ten Blog Tips - CMF Forums’ and ‘The Batcave’ or on Twitter. They also happen to have wonderful blogs so do hit the links.

The blogger we call Fragile Reggie
Eats only some lime juice and veggie
Guarding her body mass
So the shape of her ass
Doesn't give her poor undies a wedgie*

*My reference for the undies remark

Wisdom Hypnosis
I consulted with Wisdom Hypnosis
And I cured all my tics and psychosis
I got wisdom and care
And my hypnotised stare
Caught a glimpse of her sheer panty hoses

Ohio Realtor
House hunting? Go talk to Cecilia
Her houses are really a steal. Yeah
So when you’re ready to buy-oh
In Cleveland Ohio
She’ll do you a really good deal. Yeah

(There! How to insult your pals in one fell swoop...)

Now, here’s what I thought.

In the comments section, I'd love you to take the name of the commenter above you and compose a limerick about them. I’ll disable comment-moderation for this one post so please behave (a little).

After a couple of days, I will give 500EC’s (or a link in the sidebar if you don’t use EC’s) to my personal favourite limerick. Then I will try and write my own one about the winner.

The first comment (if there is one) should be a limerick about me. 'Felix' is my middle name if you want a slightly tougher challenge.

Oh and ‘God among men’, rhymes quite well with Ken...



Cleveland Real Estate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cleveland Real Estate said...

He's a charming fellow named Felix
Not like the typical online pricks
I've known him for quite a while
He always manages to make me smile
With his humor and creative limericks...

Debbie said...

There once was a lad named Ken Felix
on guitar he played quite the G licks
he wasn't quite right
for it was his plight
to have damaged his double helix

OK, so this isn't great,heck not even good, but you have a difficult middle name!

Debbie said...

oh crud Realtor beat me, now I have to limerize her

There once was a gal from Ohio
who knew 12 digit to pi. OH!
She's beat me in life
it's caused me much strife
but soon it will be a tie-O!


Anonymous said...

Omg Ken you're a master of words,
it is magical stuff for us nerds.
Kudos to you mate -
no need to debate,
that you are a star among the herds.

Ken Armstrong said...

This is going really well, thanks guys. It struck me at about 4.00am that it's quite an 'ask' to write a limerick about the commenter above you becuase... well... you won't know them, will you? And knowing a little fact or two is often key to the success of the Limerick.

So here's a get-out clause. You can write about the person above you in comments if you wish (ignore me and good luck with 'Øyvind') but, if that doesn't work for you, write one about a pet animal you know - your own or somebody else's.

If you've got a hippopotamus, I think I can help :)

Anonymous said...

oops typical me to mess up..

Anonymous said...

There was a kind blogger named Øyvind
To whose blog I would like you to send
Good wishes today
and good health all the way
And a nice bottle of Norwegian wine

Rachel Fox said...


There was an old girl from Montrose
Who could write any verse you'd suppose
But a funny limerick
Seemed hard (was she thick?)
So she's sorry, that's all that she knows


Dave King said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Since Rachel got herself.... I'll give Margaret a shot.

There once was a beautiful eye
who never could stop asking why
But it is such a shame
Never uses her name
She always signs off with an ê¿ê


hope said...

There once was a fellow named Ken
Who’s won an award…yet again.
To Felix…hip cat
I do tip my hat.
On hope’s road he should take a spin.

Disclaimer: I wrote my blog entry last night, followed by this...then dinner called and I couldn't post until this morning. Sorry if I broke the rules. :)

Anonymous said...

We all need a little hope
Or else we'd be at the end of a rope
She blogs at The Road Less Traveled
And truly is someone to marvel
But her blogs' header reminds me, I need soap!

There, that was my first stab ever at a limerick. I'm pretty sure there are too many syllables in my lines but I don't care. I did it and I did it on someone I don't know AND I managed not to insult them (I hope... Hope, if I did... I'm sorry it was not my intention).

Anonymous said...

p.s. Ken, your limerick for me still cracks me up all the time. The undie reference is sheer genius!

Testuser said...

I am so totally loving this! Keep it up guys!


Anonymous said...

A lady who went by eyespi,
Was well known as 'a heck of a guy',
Which was gender confusing,
Yet rather amusing,
As long as you don't check her fly!

Cleveland Real Estate said...

Canada has produced a knucklehead
So, naturally all the citizens fled
His boys are so cute
His blog is a hoot
Even if it's just him, Canada is not dead!

Jena Isle said...

I'll just add 500 EC to your price for the winner.

because I don't know
to compose a limerick
for the next in the row.

I've got writer's block.

Happy blogging.
500 EC from me as additional prize for the winner.

Ken Armstrong said...

That last one is from Jena Isle
Who writes all of her posts with great style
She is generous and kind
Have some fun - she won't mind
now I'll smile like a mile for a while

Ken Armstrong said...

'That blonde who hangs out with Canucklehead'
I wish she'd come give me a tuck-in-bed
(She's right there on his blog
Lovely jugs - full of grog)
Failing that, I'll accept a quick f**k instead

What!!? Some fool left the comment moderation off! :)

Now we're stuck for a name... from the comments above, we still need Celtophilia (Use 'Mike' if you're stuck) or 'Ohio Real Estate', she's had one already but I think she deserves another.

Or there's still your pets. :)

Cleveland Real Estate said...

There's actually something that rhymes with Cecilia
It's some clover boy named Celtophilia
He's a sharp one with wit
Cocky? Yes, and he doesn't quit.
Not sure I like you, Mike, but I feel ya!

Anonymous said...

If there's a house you need up in Cleveland
Cecilia's the realtor to demand.
She's lovely and sweet
and to know her's a treat.
But her compliments come with a backhand.

Thanks much, Ken, for setting up something to keep me occupied at work today. :)

Matthew S. Urdan said...

I can't imagine anything rhyming with Celt.
It's like kicking me by someone rated black belt.
Obviously not fun
Maybe I need a gun
but then I'd miss out on all the Chanukah gelt.

Anonymous said...

Not since the time of the Mayans,
Has a city been made up of such 'buy-ins',
To speak ill of Matt seems mean,
In fact quite obscene,
When the sap has to cheer for the Lions.

meh - I tried.

Anonymous said...

Well... this one probably passes by all the boundaries of decency, but I'll blame Ken for starting us down the path.

It's true, Linc's my favorite Canuck,
but beware if he drives up in his truck.
He's Canadian so keep
an eye on your sheep
unless they could use a good f**k

Note: This is written with no idea if the canucklehead owns a truck, or what his feelings toward sheep might be. It just rhymes and made me laugh. (I know, now I'm just making excuses.)

Cleveland Real Estate said...

^ ^ ^ Best.

Kat Mortensen said...

Oh, Good Lord! Canucklehead?
Well, he ain't no knucklehead!
We're from the same place
So, grant me some grace--
I won't be your trucklehead!


Kat Mortensen said...

Oops! It WAS Canucklehead, I swear!


Dave King said...

There once was a Kat, Lady-Slave,
Whose blog was grand fun, never grave.
It was great fun for cats,
A place for cat-chats
And a favourite of yours truly, Dave.

It was I (I cannot tell a lie) who deleted yesterday. Here is the limmerick I had meant to post:

There was a young lady named Fox
whose work was exact, not approx,
every word apropos,
every metre would flow,
and all rendered best by her vox.

Kat Mortensen said...

It seems my cat-diversions of late are o'ertaking my reputation.

Kat ("Lady-slave" to 4 felines - NOT her man!)

Anonymous said...

RE: Celtophilia said...
that's just bbbbbaaaaad.

*wink* - it's all good.

Carrie Berry said...

A writer we'll call Super Dave
found this current assignment quite grave
"It isn’t my norm
to indulge in this form --
I’ve got places to go, worlds to save!"

Kat Mortensen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kat Mortensen said...

Love your new header, Ken! Very Stoker-meets-Poe in Reykjavik!


(The bizarre moniker is down to an extra blog.

Matthew S. Urdan said...

Why hello there from MTMD.
Reading these have been quite fun for me.
Surfing EntreCard's never boring--
somewhat degenerate like whoring,
but without risk of an STD.

Ken Armstrong said...

Thanks Kat does that mean you're 'Raven' about it? :)

Now, people:

Who's going to rhyme Carrie Berry?
It's got to be done in a hurry
She's 'friendly' with Jim
And we ain't heard from him
Perhaps it's a reason to worry?

Carrie Berry limerick, lets be havin' you! :)

Susan at Stony River said...

But Carrie Berry ALREADY rhymes. While I'm thinking...

Three dozen replies has this blog post,
So now I must give it my utmost
To please my friend Ken
With a stroke of my pen...
Of an idea I suddenly don't have a ghost.

(Where's my toast?)

Susan at Stony River said...

Here we go, with apologies to Carrie!

Carrie Berry is a writer so very
Rhymeful, that I'm rather wary
Of writing a verse
To make her sound worse
Than Harry or Gary or Mary.

McGuire said...

I'm hunting out some Limericks I wrote a will ago, having trouble finding them, but when I do, I'll post them.

One Hypo said...

There once was a guy named McGuire
Who wanted to write a verse
He chews on ink
Loses things in a blink
Let's set his place on fire

Just kidding, Mcguire!

Ken Armstrong said...

Thanks for playing guys! I've picked a winner or two (just for fun). Let's do it all again sometime soon.

Keep 'em coming here, if you got 'em. Maguire, you *know* I'd like to see them. :)

Anonymous said...

Just another for the melting pot, it's very crude, as limericks oft should be...

There was a young lady called White
Whose vibrator worked faster than light
She buzzed it all day
Relativity held sway
And she came all the previous night