The Game of Twenty Five

(To the tune of ‘The Gambler’ by Kenny Rogers)

One Dark Winter’s Evening on a bus bound for Sligo
An old man sat beside me, he smelled a bit like wee
I tried hard to ignore him, working hard at my crossword
But he jabbed my in the ribcage and commenced to speak to me

He said son I’ve made a life out of going round the card drives
Knowing who had good hands and who had only shite
And I can see quite clearly that it’s all red twos in your hand
So for a sip of your Fanta, I’ll tell you how to do it right

Well I told him he could feck off still he drank down my last swallow
Then he stole two Polo Mints, a Snickers, and my pen
He said Poker is for losers and Old Maid’s just for children
So if you’re gonna play a game, boy, Twenty Five’s the game of men.

You've got to know who the chumps are, know what the trumps are
Know when to run away and know when to drive
You never poke at a five when there's a twenty at the table
Or else things might get unstable in the game of twenty five

Every player knows that the secret to the winning
Is holding all your good cards ‘til the fools have shown their face
Cos every Jack of Trumps can be beaten by a eejit.
And the best that you can hope for is that no one will hit your ace

And when he’d finished speaking, I turned back to the window
Pulled up my parka hood and tried to fall asleep
And somewhere outside Boyle they threw him off the bus for fartin’
But I found his deck of cards stuck down the crack of his seat

So now I know who the chumps are, I know what the trumps are
I know when to run away I know when to drive
I’ll never poke at a five when there's a twenty at the table
Or else things might get unstable in the game of twenty five

Or else things might get unstable in that game of twenty five

2 comments:

Pam Nash said...

Brilliant - just brilliant!:)

Lisa said...

I "sang" this as I read it... #ShowingMyAge Absolutely brilliant, sir x