Mount Daddy

Nick Jr – the kids TV channel - ran a little competition a few years ago to encourage people to write a modern-day nursery rhyme.

I had a go at it. ‘Didn’t win, ‘didn’t get short-listed. That’s fine, I’m not bitter (sniff).

Anyway, ‘cos it’s no use for anything else, here’s the little rhyme what I wrote.

The criteria (what’s a ‘criteria’ mummy?) was that the rhyme could be no longer than 65 words. Mine was 65 words – I tend to do stuff like that.

My son used to enjoy ‘climbing up me’ when he was a toddler. Fond memories of small fingers gripping a nostril or bulky-nappy-in-face as the summit was attempted.

Happy Days…

Climbing Daddy

I’m climbing up my daddy
Good job that I’m strong
Should reach the top by lunchtime
Going down won’t take so long.

Inching up the Northern Face
No need for boots or ropes
There’s plenty to cling onto
Upon Mount Daddy’s slopes.

Sitting on the summit
King of man and beast
You can see the world from up here
Well, the living room at least.

11 comments:

Tam said...

It's a cute rhyme, but I'm not surprised it didn't make the shortlist. (Bit harsh, but I'm really serious about my nursery rhymes)

It seems a bit too adult for a nursery rhyme. Not adult in the rude sense (although I mighta rethought the "plenty to cling onto" line, that might give a judge an excuse to eliminate it) but in the subtle humour of the last stanza. On the shortlist, there is a poem about putting a sick computer to bed and giving it some medicine. I think that's more the thing they're after.

While I'm at it, the last stanza looks like one where it's immediately obvious what half of the rhyming couplet was created first, and I think something is wrong with the rhythm of the first stanza, maybe too many syllables in the last line.

Dave King said...

Delightful - Really. Enjoyed the humour.

Jim Murdoch said...

When I was young my father bought us a copy of Arthur Mee's Children's Encyclopaedia which was dated even in the sixties and one of its sections was poetry in which I discovered hundreds – and I do not exaggerate – of nursery rhymes from the past. It's something you don't think about, that something like a nursery rhyme might die out and yet so many have. I think the competition was a very good idea. And yours was a respectable effort but don't give up the day job.

Laura said...

I really liked that. My Dad was a big guy, there really was a lot to hang on to.

Jena Isle said...

I like it. It is good and simple. Keep posting.

Matthew S. Urdan said...

Rox, thanks for all the support!

Mushy, me too!

Ken, you crack me up. I'd probably have to answer in the absolute affirmative! Actually, when I saw that pic on your current post I thought it was Bear Grylls for a moment!

Henson, I think it's pretty gross just eating a snake. Last night on the show Bear ate some huge mother grubs, and when he was eating a big juicy one, all the guts spilled out in a string down his face and halfway down his chest. GROSS!

Definitely check out recaps and youtube and videos at Bear Grylls' Website. But the show airs on the Discovery Channel every Friday night at 9pm, and normally reruns quite often throughout the week.

Rox, I wouldn't exactly say that Henson Ray is the half-naked guy you refer to cause it's a pic of just his head, but his blog is f*cking hilarious. I found him through EntreCard, I've favorited him, and I make it a point to read his stuff every day. Definitely a blog to keep an eye on if you enjoy using your facial muscles to contort your skin into a grin.

Cheers all, and thanks for commenting!

Laura said...

Hi Ken:
This evokes the time when my dad took me to Olvera Street in downtown Los Angeles and we danced, me on his big shoes. I was probably 6 years old and the image of a young child on her father, whether "dancing" with him or climbing on him, is very precious and sweet to me. I know it could be taken in the "rude" way as Tam suggests, but I didn't take it that way at all.

Keep on writing!

Laura
http://zentalfloss.blogspot.com

Ken Armstrong said...

I really appreciate the comments I got on this one.

Thanks guys!

I quite like the piece myself. It's got a little injection of truth in it... and it rhymes.

AvidReader2008 said...

Lovely rhyme, a good amount of heart, and nice images. Thanks for sharing.

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