Sugar, Oh Honey-Honey

At the ripe old age of going-on-sixty-two, and with a wretched family medical history like mine, you’re going to at least aspire to try to take some care of yourself. I tried pretty hard last year but then Christmas came and undid every little good thing I’d achieved. After a few months of winter hibernation neglect, I’m back on the metaphorical (only metaphorical) treadmill again. Trying to shed a few of the excess pounds. Trying to be good.

I cherry-pick what I do from overheard wisdoms and Instagram previews of videos I never watch. Walking is my secondary weapon of choice and I get quite a bit of that in every day. It works better, I find, if I can put my mind to it but my mind is invariably elsewhere when I’m walking, up some frosty mountain or nestled in some dim back room.

But my main approach to losing a kilo or three is to lay off the sugary things. I share this dubious advantage with smokers, I guess. If you’re a smoker and you want to do better, health-wise, you have a clear but difficult route. You give up smoking. For me, my baseline copious sugar habit gives me the same thorny pathway to improvement. Lay off the buns.

So I’m doing what I did last year, which seemed to be working. I’m getting some extra mindful steps in, underusing my fixed bike/clothes horse, and cutting out everything sugary that I can find. The upshot is not that I become suddenly svelte or godlike but the weighing scales do move in a satisfactory, but slow, backward direction.

But, man, I miss my sugar.

As a person who never smoked, gets a bit pissed on one bottle of Coors Lite, doesn’t gamble, doesn’t… do anything really, the sweets and chocolate were my vice and my reward and my crutch. If the day was going badly, a Double Decker could smooth out the bumps and if things were going excellently a Fry’s Chocolate Crème might be a just reward. I think most people like sugar but I don’t think most people like it in the same way that I do. My habit goes back to early childhood when I first gained the autonomy to go to the shops by myself. My much-missed brother Michael would send me off for a large bottle of Coke after his day’s work and the accompanying tip would allow me to have some little confectionary boost of my own. Something that was rapidly consumed before I made it back home.

In college, I subsisted on gang packs of biscuit and fizzy drinks and, crucially, annoyingly (now), never gained a pound. I had the constitution of a greyhound and no amount of calorie intake seemed to change that.

But times passed, metabolisms slowed, and the sugar highs started to come with a subtle but steady price. In my mind, aged sixty-one, I am the same lean, mean, word machine that I always was. But the mirror and the scales conspire to tell a different tale.

So here I stand. Sweetless, chocolate-less, fizzy drink less. Trying to seek out and omit every pocket of clandestine sugar that exists in my life. It gets easier… but not all that much.

The petrol station display speaks to me. “You have miles to go before you sleep,” it says, “and a double Mars bar would ease the journey quite a bit, wouldn’t it?” Similarly the sweet aisle of Tesco (as opposed to the lake isle of Innisfree) lays out in front of my trolley as if to say, “would we really all be here if it wasn’t right that you bought at least a few of us and ate us on the way home?”

But I persist. I’ll keep at it, at least until Christmas ’25, when it will probably start to go literally pear shaped again. The benefits of all this denial are slight but not slight enough if you know what I mean. Still, every pound shed feels like a little win. I imagine that I feel better as I go and imagining you feel better is every bit as good as actually feeling better.

But these are the good times and it’s easier to do this kind of thing in the good times. I can give up on the reward sugar, I can give up on the treat sugar.

But the crutch sugar, when it is needed, will surely be the hardest of all.

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