(Because this post is about swearing, and because I want to retain my 'family-friendly' rating, I have liberally interspersed any examples of curse-words with a few extra ‘o’s, just to take the edge off them a little.)
I can be a bit ‘sweary’ in real life.
No, not ‘Sweaty’, Mr Spellchecker, ‘Sweary.
I’m not the type of swearer who intersperses every third word with an oath of some kind. Neither do I tend to swear in the company of those people who are most likely to find it offensive. Put me in a Convent and bang my thumb with a hammer and I’m liable to say ‘oh dear’ or, perhaps more likely, nothing at all. The swearing I do, is mostly for my own benefit rather than for anyone else’s annoyance.
I can be a bit ‘sweary’ in real life.
No, not ‘Sweaty’, Mr Spellchecker, ‘Sweary.
I’m not the type of swearer who intersperses every third word with an oath of some kind. Neither do I tend to swear in the company of those people who are most likely to find it offensive. Put me in a Convent and bang my thumb with a hammer and I’m liable to say ‘oh dear’ or, perhaps more likely, nothing at all. The swearing I do, is mostly for my own benefit rather than for anyone else’s annoyance.
For me, swearing is quite a helpful thing. In times of annoyance or frustration, it gives me a quick ventilation option. If tension is building up inside me for whatever reason, a quick (verbal) ‘Fook’ or two and I can actually feel my blood pressure rapidly fall back down a notch.
I was asked recently what my favourite swear word is. I answered the question here. To save you clicking if you don’t want to, it’s ‘Count’. It’s not the word I use the most, as a matter-of-fact it’s a word I use very rarely indeed. But it’s my favourite because in my opinion, it is a word which retains great power – the power to convey colossal annoyance, the power to really really offend.
So, no, I don’t use ‘Count’ very often. I tend, like everybody else, to lean heavily on ‘Fook’ and the legion derivatives of the word.
Lots of people swear, of course.
Many would contend that swearing has become redundant because of its prevalence. That the crucial element of shock and awe has been removed or has at least been so diluted as to be utterly fooking impotent.
I tend to disagree.
‘Tell you why.
For me, swearing has provided a rather useful analogy for writing. The impact of both is utterly dependant on the level of intent behind it. Writing or Cursing, it doesn’t matter which – if you don’t mean it, it won’t carry much weight.
People swear for lots of reasons. Like it or not, there’s a certain cachet to it. It’s a bit like smoking. Everybody knows it’s bad and antisocial and all that but, for some reason, there’s a tiny extra edge to be attributed to whoever does it. So some people swear to be cool.
Some people swear because they can’t think of any other word to say. You often hear people pepper their sentences with curses. It’s something for their mouth to do while their mind casts around for the next ‘real’ word to say.
Some people swear to bully and harangue.
But they’re just fooking eejits.
Me? I generally swear for a different reason.
I swear because I mean it.
Swearing hasn’t lost its power to offend. Trust me on this. What it’s lost, in a large part, is any intent. Years ago, when swearing would have been more taboo, less intent might have carried the day and caused the requisite offence. Not any more. These days swearing needs a lot of intent behind it to make it count. Otherwise it’s just insipid social wall-papering.
So if I swear at you, and I really mean it, I reckon I can offend you. I ‘feel’ words quite strongly, you see, and I appreciate them a bit, and respect them and, as a result, I reckon I sometimes use them quite hard.
I only called someone a ‘count’ once and really meant it. And that was in writing. I’d loaned this guy a valuable piece of information on a CD (this is years ago when CDs were high tech) and he posted it back to me in a plain envelope with no plastic case. The CD arrived back, broken into three pieces, and I had no way to replace it.
I posted it back to him and called him a you-know-what and I really meant it.
That’s the end of that story. I don’t know what happened after that. But I reckon it hurt him. There was so much intent behind that single word that it could not but hurt. That’s why swear words are powerful and a bit dangerous. A swear word is a gun but intent is the bullet. Either of them on their own are relatively safe but put them together and… well, aim carefully.
And if I continue to try to write like I swear – if I really mean it – then maybe I’ll be okay.